Stay Present....that's the Gift

"The clock is running.  Make the most of today.  Time waits for no man.  Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  Today is a gift.  That's why it is called the present."

     From the book, "Sun Dials and Roses of Yesterday: 

Garden Delights..." by Alice Morse Earle

I have made it my mission, to be an example, an ambassador, and a warrior; never giving up on finding the anything and the everything that will guide my soul into ultimate healing. I have traveled many journeys looking for that one thing that will unite those separate aspects of myself, finding that integration that will make me complete.  The image I once held in my mind of this journey is that of  a rather large ill-humored angel balancing the earth on his finger; spinning the globe ever faster, like a globetrotter spinning his ball. Along comes his sidekick, an Angel with a puzzle, tied in a lovely bow.  He holds the puzzle in his hand with a taunting grimace upon his face. They smile at one another, both fully aware of the plan at hand.  As the earth spins faster, I catch glimpse at the image on the intact puzzle. A brief view freezes an image for just a moment. The image is that of my entire life and the bow is what holds it together. The angels take one more glance at each other, simultaneously wink, then in an instant, that puzzle is tossed over the earth.  What once was tied securely together in the comfort of that bow has now been broken apart by the impact on the spinning globe. All of the pieces have now been scattered about the earth except for a small cluster that maintained a picture of my face.  Quite the amazing puzzle these Angels hold.  The small cluster of pieces that the one Angel holds in his hand, is like a constantly changing video screen of me from birth to death.  This Angel pauses the image on a newborn baby, gently places this piece of the puzzle on the globe.  I see from a higher perspective, exactly where this piece has been so gently placed from the Ethers to the Earth via North America to Ohio, resting in the city of Cincinnati. It is from this place, this journey begins.  Many pieces of the puzzle fall close to base and gravitate automatically with little effort.  The remaining pieces are scattered about the globe.  As the puzzle is slowly pieced together, I am given clues to find more pieces.  There was a time, when I imagined this image, I was resentful and thought this to be a cruel joke.  But then one day, I found a rather large piece of the puzzle that changed my view on that image.  I found the piece that held my purpose.  I had to travel out of my comfort zone to find it.  I had found the piece but getting in to fit has been a journey within a journey.  Fear, stubbornness and comfort, created much resistance as I attempted to force squares into circles, until the moments I let go and allowed what was meant to be.  Often, my need to control how this picture looks, slows me down.  I have been blessed with a handful of Earth Angels, that redirect me back to what is important.  In the most loving way, yet many times with a steel toed boot, I get my ass kicked back in to gear.  I relive the lesson, that the control I think I must have is all an illusion. I do have the ability to make decisions,  moment by moment, day by day, that affect the direction my life will go in finding those pieces of that puzzle to make my life complete.  My life, right now, in this moment is to make the best decisions I can with the knowledge I have at this moment, to keep moving forward to find the next piece.  What once was a journey walked with fear, has turned into an amazing adventure.

I recently returned from an amazing journey to see my sister.  I embraced the opportunity to completely unplug from life as I knew it, and allowed myself to open up to much healing, which is leading me to another powerful journey through my art, and my love of teaching people ways to use art as healing.  So many signs are given to us everyday, if we only have the eyes to see.  So many times we get caught up in our daily routine and we cannot see the beauty the exists right in front of our face.  Some of us have to travel thousands of miles away to actually become present in our lives again.  Through my physical journeys, I am able to return to my daily life with such empowered insight, that allows my personal artwork to evolve to a whole new level.  One of the best parts about the art that I create, when I return from such an insightful journey, not only is the amazing piece that I paint, but also the beautiful story of the journey.  I believe that by telling others about my journey, and the amazing gifts the journeys have given to me, they may be sparked with a light just bright enough to give them the courage to embark on such an adventure to discover a deeper aspect of their own soul.  Soul 2 Soul Artwork is not just a catchy name for my art business.  It is the way I choose to live.    My connections with others reach many levels, but when those connections reach the level of the soul, I know my deeper purpose.  In my experience, the soul connections most often are not just rainbows, flowers, and butterflies.  They are actually made

up of the storms, the mud and dark chrysalis.  The people who have been willing to go through the darkness, help me see in the darkness and walk by my side out of the darkness are my most influential soul connections for my own personal healing.  Without the storms, the mud, and the cocoon, I would never become the rainbow, the lotus, the butterfly.

My return from a very healing trip out west, has opened up 

an abundance of opportunities to enhance and go further in

 my own healing so that I may help others in theirs.  Healing

 work is by no means easy, but it is necessary for growth in

 all aspects of our life.  Healing can be a painful process but what I have learned through my own work is, the longer you hold onto your garbage, the more difficult and painful the journey can be.  It may even seem impossible to get through but it is not impossible.  We become so attached to our garbage, our story and our past and we, at times, are not even able to see that a whole world of possibilities and choices exist.  It takes uncomfortable moments, challenges to our programmed belief system, and sometimes even some "in your face, suck it up" honest words from amazing people in our lives that show us a new reality that we have the power to create.  Through my own journey of self love and empowerment, I have been inspired to walk that path side by side with others.  I never thought I would get to a point in my life that I would be in a position to assist others in their empowerment.  Old stories of who I thought I was and who I thought I would be forever, replayed like a movie in my head.  That inner voice was constant reminder of who I thought I was always going to be. There are days when I fall back into that uncomfortable comfort zone and press that play button but I now have the ability to see with different eyes, and I am able to more quickly press the stop button.  It becomes an internal competition.  I have devoted so much time to personal growth and healing, and when those tapes start replaying, that competitive aspect steps in and says "REALLLLY?!!"  I begin to see all the work that I have put into my healing and refuse to let it all be for not.  Giving in to that again is no longer an option for me.  My new eyes recognize that whatever triggered me to go back to that place is an aspect of my soul that still needs some attention.  Once I accept that, my creative channels open up, and I receive messages for ways to embrace this feeling in order to turn it.  The only way to do this is to stay present.  My art and painting keep me present.  I may not even have an idea of what I want to do but I paint.  As I paint, images on the canvas appear as messages.  I do my work.  If an animal appears within my work, I trust and then I look up the message of that animal.  If shapes or colors come up, I read up on their meaning as well.  My canvas is the container the brings my message to life.  This is my passion and this is my healing.  This can be possible for anyone,  anyone with the willingness to walk the path of healing.  I want to assist others in finding this for themselves.  Whether it be through art, music, dance, movement (yoga), cooking, gardening........and through our every day talents, joys and pleasures that we so often take for granted, these are our keys to happiness and healing.  We often need others to point out that the simplest things we enjoy can be used to rediscover a part of ourselves that need to be nurtured and loved.  It's as simple as using what we already have and feel to our advantage and benefit.  It all exists within us, if we have the courage and the encouragement to find it.  It is like doing the work without feeling like it is work, because we are tapping in to something that comes so naturally to us.  I think we often fail to use our unique gifts to heal ourselves.  Change and healing could become more comfortable and attainable because the true healing is already a part of who we are.  This is exactly what I have done with my art, and I know it works.  It really is that simple.  Not easy, just simple.  It is already inside us.  We sometimes just need someone to remind us that it is there.  When I get away from this thinking it's because I am thinking about the bigger picture and not staying present.  I need to pull back and focus on the simplicity of it all right now in this moment.

Take a moment to ponder these questions.

What is one thing you know you are good at and you enjoy doing?
(If you can answer that, you are off to an excellent start.)

What is it within you that you resist, struggle with, or just know you  need to work on and heal?

Once you have answers to these two question, you can begin the build the bridge.  I want to help be a bridge builder, to help lessen that gap to bring people closer to healing.  Take a moment to run with your imagination.  Keep it simple and know its all within you to create an amazing life.

WHEN YOU CREATE ART, ART CREATES YOU!!!

Love, Peace, and Music Festival and..... More

ART ART AND MORE ART!!!!

This weekend , thanks do my friends, Cherie and Tim, with the Freedom Evolving Band, some of my most recent  Soul 2 Soul Artwork will be featured and for sale at the Love, Peace, and Music Festival at Summerland Ranch in Bonita Springs, Florida. 

This is the first time my artwork has been featured at such a venue, and I am very excited to be blessed with this opportunity. 

Thank you, everyone for all of your encouragement and support. 

Jeni

The Other Side of Surrender

As I had mentioned in the previous blog, this year is bringing forth many amazing opportunities for growth.  The beginning of a new year is the best way to kick start that momentum needed to grow and prosper.  We are already well into March and some of those creative blocks, that all artists know exist, have begun to rear their ugly heads.  For me, these creative blocks are temporary, as long as I allow the energy to continue to flow within myself and not get stuck in those pointless mind games that used to happen to me so frequently in the past.  These block are commitment checkers. These blocks are merely the road signs along the creative journey that ask:
"How bad do you want this?"
"Where do you stand in your commitment to your heart's passion and purpose?"
"How much do you believe in creative abilities and visions?"

If you truly take a moment to step back, breathe, and really listen to that voice in your head that speaks to you in those moments of frustration, you may find that it is your soul's way of clearing all that stands in the way of your true magnificent and creative nature.  There is always a choice when those inner voices begin speaking to you,  Which voice will you listen to, which voice will you feed?

Just like the Cherokee Legend of :

THE TALE OF TWO WOLVES

"ONE EVENING, AN ELDERLY CHEROKEE BRAVE TOLD HIS GRANDSON ABOUT A BATTLE THAT GOES ON INSIDE PEOPLE.  HE SAID "MY SON, THE BATTLE IS BETWEEN TWO 'WOLVES' INSIDE US ALL .  ONE IS EVIL.   IT IS ANGER , ENVY,  JEALOUSY,  SORROW,  REGRET, GREED, ARROGANCE, SELF-PITY,  GUILT, RESENTMENT, INFERIORITY, LIES, FALSE PRIDE, SUPERIORITY, AND EGO.  THe OTHER IS GOOD.  IT IS JOY,  PEACE, LOVE,  HOPE,  SERENITY,  HUMILITY, KINDNESS, BENEVOLENCE, EMPATHY, GENEROSITY, TRUTH, COMPASSION AND FAITH.  tHE GRANDSON THOUGHt ABOUT IT FOR A MINUTE AND THEN ASKED HIS GRANDFATHER:  "WHICH WOLF WINS?..."THe OLD CHEROKEE SIMPLY REPLIED, "THE ONE THAT YOU FEED."

Pre-Mature Labor

Written last night during an artist's rant...

Tonight my hands misinterpreted what my mind had seen.  Visions of how I want to be seen, painted the way I wanted to feel, but with each stroke of the brush, all I feel is frustration and disgust.   The vision in my head is so wonderful, so beautiful but the translation, the bridge between vision and motion, is not connecting.  This is the first time in a very long time that I have experienced this much affliction and distress. 

I spent much of the night before feeling remarkably refreshed and clear when I unwrapped the fresh canvas with brushes and acrylics fired up and ready for use.  I typically do not begin a painting so late in the evening but the inspiration was uncontainable.  As per usual, I sketched my image and painted my background.  I was on the road to something amazing.  By the time 3:30 am rolled around, my eyes became heavy and the thought of getting up in 3 hours was becoming increasingly distracting.  I found a good stopping point and went to bed. 

Glancing at the pictures I took the night before of my work in progress, my excitement continued to build and courted me, like puppy love.  I could not wait to get home, get my kids fed, and get my evening ritual and routine out of the way so I could pick up right where I left off.  Numerous interruptions from my children resisting sleep preoccupied my flow.  Soon after, the madness began.  The children were finally asleep but my inner demons were wide awake.   Although some would find my creation a work of beauty, the toughest critic is that of the artist.  When one color, one stroke or shape is not precisely executed on that canvas as it was seen originally through the inspired artist’s eye, the piece becomes unworkable.  The painting shifts from something moldable and fluid to a solidified disaster, unsalvageable.  The only saving grace for this once inspired great work of art is gesso, gesso and a new day.  The only way to stop the insanity, is to know when to say when.  Walk away and start over another day.  I have to constantly remind myself that I am learning something through this process.  Although I have not yet figured out what the deeper lesson and gift was in this experience, I do know that my long term vision for this painting will still be amazing if I choose to continue.  A new day will give way to a fresh start and a new beginning.  The pictures that I took tonight will be a reminder of my journey and the keys to unlocking those aspects of myself that I still continue to heal through my art.  I will walk cautiously and gently as I re-begin this piece of art.  I like to think of it as premature labor, with pains so intense with no results.  It is always work, premature labor or the real thing, but one thing with labor remains the same, the birth of something amazing…..And so this is what I will hold on to.